Open Borders

After ten years together my husband and I decided to open our marriage. Sometimes together and sometimes apart, our experience has made us closer and has positively impacted our relationship. The problem is that others have discovered our “secret” and the amount of judgement we’ve faced is shocking. How do you combat the judgement?

Like water off a duck’s back… and maybe your husband will towel off the residual dampness or maybe your boyfriend will… ultimately the choice is yours. When a couple makes a decision, wether it’s painting a room or opening up the relationship, that choice and the ramifications that come with it are solely theirs. One ramification that isn’t necessary nor wanted is the opinion of others who in no way are impacted by your relationship’s direction. Respond with “it’s a good thing you’re not in an open relationship”, forget about the negative feedback and focus on enjoying what you’re building.

I discovered my friend’s partner was “cheating” on him so I told my friend. My friend explained that their relationship was open and I just don’t get it… my friend deserves so much better than this.

Maybe you’re not suppose to get it… because it’s not about you. What’s about you is your relationship with your friend. Ask yourself what kind of friend you want to be… someone supportive of your friend’s choices with confidence that your friend knows what he’s doing even if you don’t understand OR a friend who imposes his own choices and beliefs, giving judgement with zero regard for what your friend is experiencing? Here’s a tip… one of those scenarios isn’t being a real friend.

My boyfriend (we’ve been dating for six months) doesn’t believe in monogamy and I do. I don’t think I can handle a long-term relationship with someone who sleeps around. What should I do?

We all have non-negotiables in our relationships and if monogamy is a dealbreaker then this person might not be Mr. Right. Take what you know and really think about it… determine if every other quality he brings to the table supersedes monogamy and you’ll get your answer. Think hard and you’ll make the right call.