Turtles and Trust Funds

I’ve been dating a guy for six months- we’re the same age but he’s retired and I work. Besides being successful he’s got family money and I do pretty decently as well, but I’m not near ready to give up my career. The problem is that he wants to play all the time and I know he’s getting frustrated that I’m in the office on weekdays.

In the six months you’ve been dating you must have achieved some balance between your work and his play- how did you do that? If your relationship is to continue growing that balance must be enhanced and maintained. All it takes is two committed people in love and you’ll find the middle ground.

When my husband gets angry he says nothing; he refuses to communicate, sometimes for days. It’s excruciating for me because I want to talk it out and move forward and he won’t. How can I get him to stop being a turtle and start communicating?

Not talking leads to no resolution or a delayed resolution at best. Living with an avoiding amphibian is stressful and over time will have an adverse affect on you. Once you address the issue he’s avoiding consider discussing communication and how you as a couple achieve it. If it takes seeking a therapist’s help to get the communication going you should see one- it’ll be the best investment you can make in your relationship.

My boyfriend has a trust fund and he insists on paying for everything. I feel guilty about this and every time I try to discuss it he blows my concerns off, saying that spoiling me makes him happy. I can’t shake the guilt and wish he’d let me spoil him too.

If your boyfriend wants to be generous you can reciprocate in many different ways. Maybe it’s a really nice gift or perhaps a spontaneous weekend getaway. Treat him once in a while unexpectedly- he’ll love it and more importantly he’ll appreciate it.