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Strays and Scuttlebutts

I started dating a guy and he’s been great and we’re mutually enthralled with each other. The problem is that a friend of a friend knows his Ex and I was told that my new boyfriend is no good. I was told he’s a cheater as well as a more disparaging things. How should I handle this- should I dump him before he hurts me?

If a friend of a friend who knows someone who dined at a restaurant and hated it but you really had a great experience there, would you never go back? There’s a reason why there’s not a Consumer Reports edition for dating… the reviews are subjective and easily skewed. If your new boyfriend has given you reasons for being concerned about his behavior or his intentions, then go straight to the source and address the current red flags, not past accusations.

Why do people cheat?

Myriads of reasons, from the desire to self-sabotage because they don’t feel worthy of their current partner to just being someone who’s intrinsically non-monogamous and not being up front about it. Each situation is different and the only way to know is to ask the cheater… and there’s zero guarantee you’ll get an honest answer.

What we do know is that if your partner is cheating you’re really not part of the equation of the action. Choices were made without your input and actions were completed without your knowledge. It’s not your fault your partner made those decisions, so the last thing you should do is blame yourself.

My husband thinks I’m cheating and I 100% have not. I’ve tried to convince him but he’s not budging in his belief. I don’t understand why he’s doing this.

Obviously there’s something else at play. If he’s not sharing the “proof” or explaining why he believes this, life has to be crippling for you both. Time to bring in a couple’s therapist who will guide you to the root of this accusation.

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