Lost and Fold

Is it normal to feel like you’re losing yourself when your in a relationship? I’ve been married for under a year and I feel like the me I was is getting lost in the shuffle.

When you say “losing yourself”, do you mean that you’re not doing things that you used to do that brought you joy prior to your marriage? If that’s the case, you should have a talk with your spouse and make some adjustments to your daily in order to accommodate. Taking some “me time” is healthy and necessary and when practiced by both in the marriage it’s a very good thing!

Keep this in mind… being married shouldn’t erase who you are as an individual, but will evolve you into an updated version of yourself. A happy marriage will propel both of you to next level greatness, and that concept should be embraced and applied to all you do.

What’s the hardest adjustment you’ve had to make being married?

Folding towels and boxer briefs, and if most couples were honest they would totally admit this. My husband and I really didn’t cohabitate prior to our wedding, so doing laundry was a marital discovery. I had to face my fear of using liquid bleach and when it came to folding, some compromises had to be made. In no way do I feel like I “folded” just because I do it his way… it’s just a new method and I admit his way lends itself to more efficient storage. I’m sure there were many other adjustments but like the towels, they didn’t feel horrible nor did it cause bother… probably because I married the right guy.

Being single again after a five year relationship has been a strange adjustment. I feel like so much has changed, from my friendships to just about everything I do every day.

Of course there’s change because your world is now different. You may not see it but you’ve evolving to respond and to succeed in this new world of yours. Breakups bring a change in relationship status, but the changes don’t stop there. You’re in the position to control that change and aim it in any direction you see fit. Sometimes the direction will take you places you never expected, including toward new friendships and away from some old ones. Be brave and enjoy the ride!