Break-up, not Broken
I’m going through a divorce. It sucks but it’s necessary and mutual. My concern is about our kids. My Ex and I have manned up for their sake and we are and will continue to successfully co-parent, but I’m afraid the divorce will damage them and their abilities to have successful relationships when they’re adults. What can I do to get them through this without scars?
Sounds like you’re on your way to doing just that. 99% of the battle is exposing your children to parental civility. If kids see that you communicate with each other and in turn provide a reliable, united front to them, they feel the security and support. Keeping on the road of civility with your eyes on the kids’ best interest is the way to get them through it. My hat’s off to you and your Ex for taking this approach.
And in turn, you’re teaching them a relationship lesson that’s actually quite valuable; one they will take with them for life. When romantic love ends, it doesn’t have to morph to hate. It can morph to a lot of things, including friendship, but breakups don’t have to end with a scorched Earth mindset. Your actions now are teaching them that it’s OK to move past a relationship that no longer works and toward a new direction without bringing negativity along for the ride.
I was dating someone for almost a year and we broke up. There was no drama or fighting; it was a situation where the relationship just fizzled and we both knew it. The problem is that my friends want a dramatic ending to the story- they won’t be happy until I tell them a violent breakup exposé even though there isn’t one.
Looks like your friends won’t be happy! Sometimes breakups are horrific, even so bad that severing the Ex from your life is 100% necessary and appropriate. But not all relationships come to an end in a way that it could be mistaken for Saving Private Ryan. Count yourself lucky that your breakup didn’t leave you broken and tell your friends to find a good cable show if they want drama.
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