Who's on First?


I’ve been dating a divorced guy with kids. Even though he shares custody with his Ex, he will cut dates short or blow them off entirely because something comes up with the kids. He’s made it clear that being a father is his top priority but that he really wants a relationship with me. I don’t know if I can handle second place.

Did he actually say that you’re in second place or are you casting yourself in that role? What you have to understand and more importantly embrace is that he comes as a package deal. The kids will always be his kids- even when they’re out of school and on their own. They’re going nowhere- and you have to be on board with that and not view yourself as “second”. Obviously he wants you to be first in the romantic department, and there’s enough love to go around. You have to trust that your boyfriend has the ability and desire to spread it.

My husband recently got a promotion and ever since it seems like all he ever does is work. He’s too busy to participate in any aspect of being a couple… and I mean any. How should I respond to this?

Could it be that he’s working so hard because he wants a better life for the both of you? You say he recently received the promotion… could it be that he needs a few months to get into the groove of the new responsibilities? I would cut him some slack. Let him get his bearings and chances are his participation levels will return to normal. If not, it’s very fair to voice concern and discuss time management.

I met my boyfriend’s Ex and he was a really nice guy until he said one thing, “Remember I had him first”. I didn’t respond- what should I have said?

Well that was a douchy thing to say! Remember that no response is in fact a response; by saying nothing you didn’t dignify his bitchy statement. Just giving a grin and not saying a word is the best response ever- sounds like you walked away on top!

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