Single Fright Email

I’ve been single for a year and I haven’t started dating. My friends are pressuring me to get back out there. When is the right time to start dating after a breakup?

There’s no time frame, no rules and no rush. When you feel you’re ready to begin dating again, then that’s the right time. Many make the mistake of rushing into dating before they truly process their last relationship and it sounds like you’re not making that blunder- and that’s a great thing! Again, when the time is right you’ll know.

With the holidays around the corner, I’m in a state of dread and panic. It will be my first holiday single in 10 years and I want to crawl under a rock until January. How do I get through this?

You’ll get through November and December just like you hopefully got through September and October because months are months. Just because a month may have a little more sparkle or a lot more turkey doesn’t mean you have to apply pressure on yourself to act a way you might not be feeling. Conversely, just because your single doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of some merriment that the last two months of the year bring.

If going to a holiday party sounds fun, then you should go. If you want to put up a tree or light a menorah, then do it. If a holiday event doesn’t float your boat, then simply decline the invite and do something else in its place. The focus should be on your well-being, your growth and your happiness. You’ll find that paying attention to fostering your forward, positive movement as a newly single is the best gift of the season.

I’m so afraid to run into my Ex at a holiday party. What do I do if I see him… if I even go?

First, you go. Allowing your Ex to dictate your comings and goings after a breakup is a horrible, unnecessary idea. Second, all you have to do is smile, nod and move on. Good parties have lots of great distractions… use them! You’ll go great, and I bet you’ll even have fun!