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Loyal Flush

October 17, 2019




I’ve been dating a guy for six months and it’s going great.  The only frustration is that my best friend has nothing positive to say about him or my relationship.  At every turn he says something negative.  My boyfriend and I are most likely taking it to the next level, which thrills me, but I’m not looking forward to the negative commentary from my friend.


Sometimes people are afraid of change.  As you place more focus on your new relationship, he may perceive a diminishing of your focus on your friendship with him.  Perhaps you should try to include him in an activity with your boyfriend.  Allowing him to see you with a partner will hopefully illustrate that you can have a boyfriend and a bestie at the same time without sacrificing being a loyal friend.  Over time, he’ll hopefully build a friendship of his own with your boyfriend and his attitude toward your relationship will change.


I’ve been single for six months and I feel like I’m over the breakup.  What I’m not over is how some of my closest friends now treat me.  As soon as I was single there was a change in their attitude toward me and I don’t understand it.  We barely see each other and it really feels worse than dumping my Ex.


The sad reality of breakups is that it most likely includes the ending of more than one relationship.  As you take the lessons of your last relationship and use them to evolve into a new single you, a change in you in inevitable.  Your evolution might be too much for an old friend to accept and frankly I believe your positive evolution outweighs everything.  The choice is theirs to remain a loyal friend and if they don’t you’ll find plenty of new friends you haven’t met yet who will.



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