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Tempers and Tantrums

I’ve been dating this guy for a couple months. He checks most of the boxes, however he’s got a temper. It’s bad enough to make me think that in spite of all his good qualities this might be a deal breaker.

If a partner in a new relationship exhibits a character trait serious enough to negate all the positives he brings to the relationship, you’ve got a big red flag that can’t be ignored. I would try speaking with him about it- most definitely not during an outburst. Hopefully an honest dialogue doesn’t trigger an eruption… if so, you might have the answer to which direction you should be taking. Best-case scenario is that he can see the problem and address it. If not, you have to do what’s best for you and decide if you’re willing to live with it.

What do you think about a date that’s abrasive and condescending to the waitstaff of a restaurant? I’ve gone out on three dates with a really handsome guy who’s super sweet to me, but super sour to waiters.

If he’s abrasive and condescending to those who “serve” him, it says a lot about his attractiveness on the inside. It also says that you’ll most likely never have a favorite restaurant as a couple because he’s probably alienated most restaurant staffs in your town. Unless you want a relationship where you’re always whispering, “I’m sorry” to your waiter, you might want to consider serving some honest commentary to your date. Simply say, “Don’t you think you were a little tough on her?’. His answer will tell you exactly how to proceed with the relationship. (And remember… when you treat your waiter with respect, they return the favor by treating you like a rock star.)

Should you talk about politics on a first date?

Unless you met him at a political fundraiser, it’s best to save the political conversations for a third or fourth date. Focus on the good kind of explosions at the beginning.

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