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A Mother's Mission and an Ex's Missive

My daughter can’t shake her Ex. She claims that she’s moved on, but I can still see the hurt in her eyes. What can I do as a parent to help her?

As a mom, one of your super powers is what I call purposeful diversion. My earliest memory of my mom’s was at the doctor’s office getting a shot and she pulled a toy truck from her purse, taking my attention straight away from the needle and resulting in zero screams and tears. After my breakup, she did something similar… but it was a weekend away to give me a change of scenery and a momentary escape from reality. For you, I’m thinking a spa day because it provides a both a diversion and a place for relaxed conversation. You can use the opportunity to get in her head a bit, see where she’s at with the breakup and plan your next purposeful move based on what she needs. She’s really going to appreciate your compassionate efforts, and at the end of the day you’ll become closer and she’ll rediscover her single girl groove.

I just received an email from my Ex. He wants to meet up and talk.

And what do you want? If you feel there’s still some closure you need in order to move forward from the breakup and a conversation would be non-damaging to you, then you should consider it. If you’ve moved on and your tank is filled with all the closure you need, then don’t. You’re in the driver’s seat regarding this potential meet-up, and you need to choose wisely as to what’s best for you. And if you choose not to have a sit-down, you seriously don’t have to email that response- no answer to an email IS an answer and he’ll get it.

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