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Not So Silent Night

I’m in an interfaith marriage (I’m Catholic and my husband is Jewish) and way before we got married we discussed how religion plays a part in our relationship. We made the decision to celebrate every holiday, making the end of the year a giant party. The problem is that some members of his family are pretty strict religiously and they refuse to come to our home because we put up a Christmas tree. I know this hurts him- how can I fix this?

You and your husband were smart to discuss and jointly find solutions to what it means being in an interfaith marriage. You solved it, you’re both happy, your kids will get the best of both worlds (as well as an ample education to help them moving forward on their own relationships with religion). If anyone has a challenge with how you celebrate religious holidays, it’s their challenge, not yours. Let them miss out, and one day when they get it you can open your door with an enthusiastic welcome and show them a great time. In the meantime, the only thing you have to fix would be a few batches of latkes and several dozen Christmas cookies.

I’ve been secretly dating a co-worker a year. We don’t work in the same department but HR still frowns upon office romance. He wants to “come out’ as a couple at our holiday Zoom party and I don’t think it’s a great idea. How do I handle this?

Before you do anything publicly, your HR Director needs to hear about your relationship from you both. Doing so is a necessary formality that will serve you better than this person hearing it second hand from a Zoom party attendee. Be ready for worse case scenarios but go in with the mindset that you work in different areas and there’s been no office conflict or compromise in your performance during the time you’ve been dating. Good luck!

I’ve received several invitations to Christmas parties in spite of the virus. Honestly I’d love to go, but it’s just not smart for me to do it. How do I handle this?

Just like any party you can’t attend, you RSVP with your regrets. No judgements, no commentary… just a “so sorry to miss your party” is the way to handle it.

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