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Invitations and Insecurities

I was invited to a barbecue and I know my Ex will be there. We haven’t seen each other since the breakup, and I’m not sure how I feel about seeing him now.

The best thing about a party invitation is that your response is an easy choice- accept or decline based on desire to go. If your desire is to spend some with friends, then you accept; if your desire not to see your Ex is greater, then you decline. I hope your desire to see friends is greater. Just say hello to the Ex and focus on the friends that are present. There will be plenty of friendly distractions; choose to take advantage of each and every one.

Since my breakup I’m not getting invited to hang out with my friends that are couples. I know from Facebook that they entertain and go out to dinner all the time, but somehow my invitation is always lost.

Funny thing about breakups… they oftentimes bring about great change in those who experience them, and in turn change the way that others look at the newly single. Sometimes even the oldest of friends don’t embrace the change in their newly single compadres. Maybe it’s a little envy of their ability to create a new and exciting chapter. Maybe it’s a little threatening having a single guy around if they’re not secure in their own relationships. Maybe it was simply a repeated oversight or they have a misconception that you don’t want to hang out with them.

Here are two things you should consider doing:

First, let them know that you miss hanging out with them and invite them to do something. Their responses should clear up any confusion (and I bet their responses will be positive). Second, work on cultivating some new friendships with new people that know you at this very moment. Post-breakup friends are fantastic because they embrace you as you are; they support your forward progression and don’t question nor remember the past. If you decide to try these two things, I bet your dance card will quickly fill.

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