Doormats and Do-Gooders

My friends accuse me of being a “yes man” to my husband. They say I always agree and always do whatever he wants. They feel I’ve lost my individuality since getting married. How should I respond to this?

That’s what your friends think, but what about what you think? Do you think you’re a doormat or do you feel like an equal in your marriage? Does your husband support your goals and listen to your ideas… and do you extend the same courtesy to him? When it comes to how your role in your marriage makes you feel, your opinion is the only one that matters. Every marriage is different and reflective of the two people in it. The best response to critics is to keep living your happy and best married life.

It seems my partner is on his Ex’s speed dial to problem solve, be it a flat tire or just plain advice. Do you think it’s necessary to still help out your Ex?

Breakups don’t always result in the smoldering ashes of a burned bridge. Some couples realize through time that they’re better off as friends instead of a romantic pairing, and it sounds like that’s what has happened between your partner and his Ex. If your “Spidey Senses” told you that something else was happening between the two or that the Ex was trying to place a wedge in your relationship, I believe you’d be asking a very different question. If you replace the word “Ex” with the word “friend’ in your question, the answer is pretty easy to see.

My wife has a milestone birthday coming up and I really want to acknowledge it in a big way. I want to throw her a small, socially distanced surprise party but she really, really hates them. I know she’d enjoy it in the end but at first she won’t be happy. Should I do it?

It’s great that you want to celebrate her milestone in a big way… consider accomplishing the goal through jewelry. She’ll be surprised and trust me… she’ll be happy from the moment she opens the box!