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Getting Scrooged

My girlfriend was invited to spend the holidays with my family, and she refuses to attend. She feels it will be uncomfortable since she’s not a member of the family and doesn’t know everyone who will be there. She would rather stay home (she has no other place to spend Christmas). How can I change her mind?

All you can do is reassure her that your family is more than willing and more than happy to extend family status to her. Not having her there means the family isn’t complete. To make her more comfortable, I’d try to get together with a few family members she doesn’t know prior to the big day. If she meets them and makes a few connections, she’ll feel more confident with going.

I’ve been dating a guy since the first of the year, and he has zero Christmas spirit. I knew from the beginning that he’s not overly religious (neither am I) but he refuses to get involved with anything pertaining to the holiday season. He doesn’t like trees, won’t go to parties and definitely won’t participate in gift giving. This is really putting a damper on my holiday and I don’t know what to do.

It’s never good to lose yourself and your own identity when you’re coupled. If the holidays are important to you, they should remain as such and you should decorate and participate as much as you want. Try initiating a heartfelt talk with your boyfriend, explaining with him about what the holiday season means to you and what it could mean to you both as a couple, reassuring him that he can do as little or as much as he wants. And while you’re at it, try to do a little data gathering and get to the bottom as to why he doesn’t like the festivities. Working with him instead of forcing him gives you a way better chance of a Scrooge conversion.

Our Christmas consists of a two-day marathon of going from family to family and house to house. Even though everyone is in the same town, it’s exhausting. I’d like to back out of some of it but my husband refuses.

Perhaps it’s time to create your own Christmas traditions, unique to the couple you are. Go to some, and maybe host one. Sure, hosting may provide a different kind of exhaustion but at least you’re avoiding traffic and gas cost. Allowing the mountain to come to you is a great way to switch it up.

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