I’m very concerned for one of my closest and oldest friends and I’m feeling paralyzed when it comes to helping her. She’s married to a very controlling guy and I can see how he’s treating her and forcing her into isolation. I’ve asked her if everything is ok, and she says it is but her tone and attitude says differently. I feel she’s pulling away from the friendship making it even harder to be there for her. I’m totally at a loss and frankly heartbroken for her.
It’s paralyzing because your friend isn’t opening a window for immediate help and that’s not reflective of your willingness and desire to lend a hand. When your friend is ready… IF your friend is ever ready, you’ll be prepared to help her. In the meantime all you can do is support her- even from afar. Hopefully she realizes that your friendship can be relied upon as a safe haven to ask for help.
I know my best friend’s partner is cheating. I actually witnessed him out with someone else and it was obvious they were more than friends. I confronted him and he admitted it and asked me not to tell my friend. Should I tell my friend?
Do you know why we have the phrase “Don’t kill the messenger?”… it’s because we tend to verbally murder the informant of bad news. It’s a very tough position to be caught between life altering news and a friendship. If you remain quiet and your friend finds out you knew and didn’t tell him, he’s likely to flip. If you tell him, he’s likely to flip. Anyway you look at it there’s going to be some flipping involved, so I’d be a good friend and tell him. Be ready for the flip and if he’s angry at you know it’s only for the moment and that your friend will understand and probably thank you once the news sinks in.
A friend recently went to City Hall and got married. He never told me that he and his partner tied the knot, and being left out hurts me.
If you take the $175 you would have spent on their gift and spend it on you, you’ll see that hurt miraculously vanish. Happy Shopping!
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