EXternal Forces

Recently my Ex started a dialogue with me. It’s been two years since our breakup and I can tell he feels remorse for his behavior leading to the end of our relationship. Getting to know him again is allowing me to see him in a different light and frankly I like it. I have no idea where it’s going but when I told this to my two closest friends they both flipped out. Am I making a mistake getting involved with my Ex?

When it comes to friends and family who were close to you during the breakup, you need to remember that the last impression your Ex gave them was one that created your pain. Their current vantage point reflects that past action. They remember too well the time when your Ex hurt you, and you can’t fault them for “emphatic concern”. Only you can decide if you want to give your Ex another chance to win your heart and trust, and if your choice is to try again, he’s going to have to win over your posse too.

My breakup happened a few years ago and through a lot of work I’ve moved on and moved up. My problem is that my Ex has started to contact me wanting to talk. I really have no desire to stir up old memories, but by refusing to talk am I short-changing myself on closure?

Closure can be delivered in a multitude of ways, and although a face-to-face dialogue is definitely a way to achieve closure it’s not the only road to that destination. If you achieved past relationship resolution via self-aware reflection, then I’d say you’re done. Adding the fact that you have no desire to see him, I’d say you’ve closed the chapter and moved onto the next. Keep on moving up!