Extra, EXtra

My Ex is getting married, which affects me in no way. What’s bothering me is how my friends keep asking me if I’m ok with this. I feel like I’m in more conversations about him now than when we were in a relationship and it’s really getting old.

It’s human nature to be sure you’re ok, and your friends are doing just that. It’s also human nature to look for the dirt, and perhaps your friends are doing a little of that as well. Your best response is to say something along the lines of “Yes, I heard”, “Of course I’m fine… no reason not to be” and “I wish them the best”. It’s a current front burner story that fortunately has a limited shelf life- it will be yesterday’s news soon enough and normal programming will resume.

Is it strange that I’m still friends with my Ex’s family? I think it’s fine and they think it’s fine but others think I’m crazy for being friendly with them. I should mention that my Ex and I are not on good terms.

An unfortunate aspect of any breakup is the collateral damage it can cause friendships, especially when you’re friendly with your Ex’s family. If someone was your friend during the relationship and the friendship is sustainable after the breakup, there’s no reason to discontinue it- even if the friend in question is related to your Ex. The only reason not to continue the friendships would be if it for any reason curtails you from moving on with your new single life.

A year after my breakup I ran into my Ex. He would like to be friends. Not sure how I feel about that.

If you’re not sure about a cultivating a friendship, it’s best not to start one until you’re certain it’s a good move for your life in the present. Evaluate what being a friend means to you and whether or not your Ex fits the bill, then act accordingly. Remember, being friendly and being friends are similar yet very, very different things- choose the one that’s right for you.