Dodging the Bait

I met a guy online and the conversations were amazing. He made it clear that he, like me, was looking for a serious relationship. Our first date was epic until the end. After a lengthy goodnight kiss he obviously wanted to come back to my place. I put the breaks on that, not wanting to rush things and he seemed fine with that. The result? The guy is MIA- no return texts or calls.

Seeing that he’s gone radio silent, my guess is that he wasn’t fine with that. If you’re being iced out, it sends a message that perhaps hooking up on a first date might be more important to him than developing a relationship. Sometimes people say the words that want to be heard in order to achieve their desired outcome. It appears he very well might have baited his hook with the words you wanted to hear. If your primary goal is to build a relationship, then congratulations… you didn’t swallow the hook. You nibbled the bait, but count your blessings that you can swim away in search of a more compatible fish.

What makes people think it’s a good idea to post 10-year old or drastically photo-shopped pictures on their dating profile? I’m so sick of showing up on a date, seeing the guy and wondering why his grandfather showed up instead of him.

Easy… the motivation is not feeling secure with what’s looking back at them in the mirror in the now. It’s a problem when the product looks nothing like the retail packaging- it’s like shopping for a drip coffee maker and you like what it looks like pictured on the box, but when you get it home and open it up you discover a 1974 percolator… and it’s not at all what you want. It’s easy to be angry at the false advertising, but that’s not the real issue of concern. The bigger problem is that this dating candidate isn’t confident enough in himself to honestly show a current picture. If the confidence isn’t there on his appearance, then chances are he’s got self-doubt in other areas of his life. Perhaps the anger or disappointment can be alleviated when you remember there’s a bit more to it than just an old pic.