Oh, Baby!

I’ve been reading about people over 50 hiring surrogates or adopting. As a gay man, I’ve never been in the position to have a child even though it’s something I’ve always wanted. Financially and emotionally surrogacy is something I can do, but I’m worried that I’m too old. How old is too old to become a parent?

We know parenting doesn’t come with height restrictions, weight restrictions and thanks to some TV shows we know that some become parents while they’re still being parented. There’s really no age restriction regarding parenthood. The only restrictions are those that we place on ourselves, and those restrictions come in the form of priorities. As someone over 50, if your priorities are focused on your freedom to experience the world through your eyes, then having a child may not be the way to go. If your priority is to experience the world through the eyes of a child AND to experience the world with a child, then patenting might just be the ticket. If you have the means, the stamina, the desire and the love to give, then perhaps your decision is made.

My wife and I have a beautiful five-year-old daughter who is the center of our world. Our family dynamic of three has been fantastic. My wife wants one more and although we’ve always planned on more than one, I’m afraid to change our perfect trio.

You obviously took a leap of faith when you went from duo to trio, and that leap turned out pretty well. Going from trio to quartet is just another leap, and the great news it that you obviously have a fantastic track record when it comes to leaping. I suggest taking a very hard look at what’s causing the trepidation and be honest with yourself about what's causing the hesitation. Have a heart to heart with your wife, and together you will find the solution and make a game plan that's right for your family.