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Friendship, Sinking

I started a new job with a new company, and it’s the equivalent of being promoted twice at my old job. Of course I’m super excited as are all my friends- except my best friend. He barely said congratulations and never asks about how I like the new job. He obviously has a problem with my success.

Congratulations on the new gig! Oftentimes when friends don’t show overt excitement for positive things happening to others it’s because there’s something in their lives that’s not so great. Your friend is probably happy for you, but at this moment his not so happy storyline is curtailing his expression of it. Since you’re already on top of the world (as you should be) take the moment to make sure your Bestie knows that your ears are ready for listening and your shoulders are ready to be leaned upon. If his negativity persists, have a good heart to heart and try to help him out of the murk.

I’m recently single, and some of my friends have been very supportive. Others have dodged me like I’m the plague. What gives?

What gives is that you changed the friendship dynamic by changing your relationship status, which in turn changes you. You didn’t set out to do this- it just happens when people experience a breakup. Some friends are able to support the new you, and others are either afraid of it, jealous of it or maybe they just don’t appreciate the changes in the new, positive you. The sad reality is that anyone going through a breakup will most likely experience a shift in friendships. The friendships that matter will be there, the ones that aren’t now might come around over time and the bonus is that your newly single self will make more new friends than you ever imagined.

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