Bad Words

I’ve been in a relationship for over a year and we just got engaged. Since the engagement my co-workers have been really critical of my fiancée, saying things like “…well, he does make less money than you…” and “…he does spend a lot of time with his friends…” Comments like this never happened before (quite the opposite actually) and I’m not sure how to handle it.

It’s never easy when bad words happen to good people. You say that prior to your engagement they had nothing at all bad to say, so it makes me wonder what changed… could it be a little sparkle on your ring finger? Are these co-workers single or in unhappy relationships because if so, that just might be the answer. Sometimes unhappy people attempt to make their misery contagious by planting seeds of doubt into happy people. The way to handle it is not allowing those seeds take root. Consider the source and go about with the wedding planning. (And if you invite these co-workers, do so knowing they will be all smiles as they devour a second piece of cake.)

I have a friend that’s the poster child for pessimism. Even when she’s happy, there’s always something that could have been better. I really believe this is what’s holding her back in dating. How do you help pessimists?

When someone points out what could be better in a pessimistic fashion, a good friend points out what’s great in hope that the positivity rubs off. Perhaps you should be a great friend and bring the pessimism to her attention in positive, nonthreatening way. Talking about it may help you understand her better, and may also help her focus on the good and be open to the great.

A really cute guy hit me up online, but the bulk of his profile is about how his drug addled Ex ruined his life and how most of his days are unhappy. Would you respond?

Exactly how cute is he? Seriously, this is why it’s important to create an online profile that’s positive and upbeat. Everyone has some drama in his or her life and those stories have no place in creating a first impression for a potential date. As for responding, do so knowing that chances are he’s not over his Ex and would most likely be bringing that baggage into a new relationship.