Two, Three or Not to Three

I’ve been in an exclusive relationship for four years and my partner suggested we consider bringing in a third for play. Our relationship is fantastic, but I admit our sex life is a little stale. Not sure how I feel about a three-way because I’ve never experienced one.

There’s a lot to consider before bringing in a third for sex. If you’ve been exclusive for four years, how are you going to feel seeing your partner with another person? How will he feel seeing you with another person? If your sex life needs a spit and polish, there are other ways to do it besides bringing in a supporting player. Give this option serious thought and openly and honestly discuss the pros and cons with your partner.

I recently found out that my husband had a one-night stand while on a business trip. Is it wrong that I don’t really care?

Whatever genuine feelings you have about any subject aren’t wrong. What you might want to consider is why you don’t care. Is it because you know at the end of the day its just sex and you’re confident in your relationship? Or is it because you’re relieved to have the night off? Once you determine the “why”, you’ll be able to confidently own your position on his one-night stand. Seeing that you “recently found out” implies you don’t have an open relationship. Perhaps a conversation with him is in order to understand what page he’s on and how you both can move forward happily.

As a single gay man on several apps, I’m really sick of getting approached by married guys looking for side action and couples looking for a third. Can’t these people be happy in their relationships and leave the apps to the singles guys?

Maybe being happy in their relationships includes a little permitted side action and a periodic party of three. Your energy might be better spent swiping left and not responding to those you deem undesirable. Focusing on the demographic you truly want will get you what you need.

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