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The Ins and Outs of EXcommunication

It seems that when relationships end people automatically cut all ties with their Ex, converting the love and respect to hate and indifference. I really don’t feel that way about my Ex- is it wrong to still have a friendship?

As corny as it may sound, breakups are like snowflakes… no two are exactly the same. Same goes for the post-relationship “relationship” you have with your Ex. So much depends on how things went down leading to the breakup. If your Ex delivered damaging negativity before and during the breakup chances are that theme would most likely continue post-relationship, thus rendering him a not-go-great choice of a friend. Friends are supportive, sincere and kind, and if your Ex fits that bill and you can deliver the same back to him then by all means be friends. Obviously your Ex knows you very well, and having a good friend with that vantage point is a priceless thing.

I remained friends with my Ex, and it’s been a great experience. The problem now is my new boyfriend. He’s not happy with the friendship and wants me to cut him loose. I don’t want to do that and don't know how to handle my boyfriend.

Your boyfriend’s problem isn’t with your Ex personally; the problem is a shot of insecurity mixed with two parts fear and anxiety. Perhaps a heart to heart with your boyfriend will make him understand how your past evolved into a positive thing for the present. Spending time as a couple with your friend who happens to be your Ex may also alleviate the apprehension your boyfriend feels.

My fiancée not only accepts my friendship with my Ex, but also has forged a friendship with him. We would like to invite him to the wedding but we’re a little afraid he might not want to come because some may think it strange my Ex is in attendance.

And the opinions of “some” regarding your friendships became important to you when? Forget the whispers of some and focus on the friends who will be cheering for you on your wedding day. As a rule, I say invite whomever you want- the decision to attend is on them. My bet is your friend (and please refer to him as such) will be in the cheering section.

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