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Cold Shoulders and Suitcases

I’ve been dating a great guy for three months and we’ve started to introduce each other to our friends. His friends have been welcoming and super nice. Mine have been the same except for two of my oldest friends. I know my boyfriend feels their cold shoulder treatment and it really upsets me.

The sad reality is that not every friend is going to like the new person in our lives. Considering that these are old friends with whom you’ve invested much time and emotion, you should have a one-on-one conversation with them. Tell them that you sense they don’t like your new love, and ask them why. Listen to their feedback and respond accordingly. Kindly remind them that their friendship is very important to you or else you wouldn’t have cared to initiate the conversation. Then tell them that the new boyfriend isn’t going anywhere today, tomorrow and most likely the day after that.

Tell them you really hope they give him a chance if for nothing more than the reason that this guy makes you happy. Over time they will see your happiness and know he’s the one responsible for it. If these two old friends truly have your best interest at heart, they’ll come around and welcome your boyfriend into the fold.

How do you handle jealousy? I haven’t given my girlfriend any reason to doubt me, but lately she’s questioning me all time and acting suspicious of any time spent away from her.

Sounds like its time for an open and honest conversation over some beverages. Tell her you notice she seems uncomfortable when you spend time apart and ask her if there was something that you did to cause doubt. Make it clear that you want to alleviate any concerns because she’s your top priority. I’m willing to bet that if she’s honest, she will say that you’ve done nothing wrong and that this is residual baggage from a past relationship. Reassure her, and tell her that the best thing about spending time apart is coming home and telling her all about your adventures. Give her time to feel the safety of a new relationship based on respect and trust and the jealousy should diminish.

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