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The Ghost of Relationships Past and the Ghost of Christmas Present

December 8, 2017



I’ve been single for over a year and I learned that my Ex (we were together for over 20 years) is marrying a 22-year-old guy from the DR.  One of the things that led to our breakup was that he refused to get married when it was legalized.  Mutual friends tell me it’s to keep the kid in the country, but some say they believe he loves him.  I just can’t shake being upset about this.


I suggest you get a pint of your favorite ice cream and binge watch 90-day Fiancée.  After you’ve watched (once you start, you can’t stop) think about the percentages of happily ever afters.  Here’s a hint… it’s low.  Think of the percentages of raged-fueled drama.  Here’s a hint… it’s high. 


Here’s another hint… it’s OK to grin over that fact.


Now that you’ve done that, snap out of the funk.  Investing your time feeling bad about your Ex’s choices takes away from the positive efforts you can be making on YOUR new path.  Bottom line- the decisions your Ex makes regarding his life are his to make.  Don’t waste time thinking of his future when you can be creating one for yourself.  Take that energy and build towards a future ready for a happily ever after with a staying power that exceeds 90 days.   


I’ve been dating a great guy for six months, and I’ve been trying to decide what to give him for Christmas.  Too soon for a ring, but I’m too interested and committed to give him just a sweater.  Help!


Those “firsts” in a new relationship are always fun and a great way to create new memories.  I would give him a stocking with some cute and thoughtful things he could use and make him smile.  For the “big gift”, I would him a sexy night or two away.  A getaway at the six-month mark is always a good for a relationship.  He will love it, and so will you!  



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